


At the End of a Long Journey of Fears and Insecurites

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Agron realizes he had been a scared fool when he left Nasir, Canon Era Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:46:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle against Crassus, Agron thinks to how he had almost lost Nasir due to his own jealousy. </p><p>Written in response to a prompt request.</p>
            </blockquote>





	At the End of a Long Journey of Fears and Insecurites

**Author's Note:**

> **Full Prompt:** Sometime after Victory, Agron thinks back on Castus, his own jealousy, and almost losing Nasir due to his own actions. 
> 
> It's not too focused on Castus unfortunately, but it's more internal with Agron's thoughts.

Agron continued to work on raising the tent for him and Nasir. The survivors had all made it through the mountains. Some had left to go to their homelands or take a chance somewhere new. There were a few, however, who continued to follow Agron and Nasir to Germania. 

Many were still injured from the battle with Crixus and Nasir had taken it upon himself to see them tended to, with the help of Laeta and Sibyl. Agron watched Nasir tend some of the wounded, his voice and hands gentle and reassuring. Just as they had been when Nasir tended Agron's own wounds. 

Agron could still not believe they had survived, that they were still together despite everything. 

Though it could have very easily not have come to pass. Not only due to the gods forcing them to the afterlife, but because of Agron's own fears and actions. Specifically, in relation to Castus. 

The man had made no qualms about desiring Nasir. He was blatant with the way he looked at his lover, the way he spoke to him. 

Nasir had even seemed interested. 

In hindsight, Agron had not reacted in a way that he was proud of. He had been afraid, terrified really, that he was going to lose Nasir to another. He lashed out at the fucking Pirates, the Romans, himself, and even at Nasir. 

Agron had been cold to Nasir, refusing to break words because of his own fears and insecurities. It was specifically these actions, or non-actions that caused him to almost lose his heart. 

He had thought of what he would do if Nasir desired the man. Agron would step back because he did only wish for Nasir's happiness—that was why he had taken up with Crixus, after all. Yet it was a difficult thing _knowing_ that he would step back if Nasir asked him to and actually _watching_ it come to pass. 

He avoided breaking words so he did not have to _hear_ Nasir tell him that he would like to attempt to be with Castus. Agron would not have been strong enough to just allow him to leave for he would have crumbled and begged because he didn't _want_ to be without Nasir.

It became easier to lash out in a foolish attempt to force Nasir to leave him. Then, when it came to pass, he could blame the fact that it was his own anger that forced Nasir to leave, not because _Agron_ no longer held Nasir's interests. 

It was foolish and stupid, but love makes fools of all men. 

Yet the problem was, he hadn't thought of _Nasir._ At least, not in how this was affecting him. Agron hadn't considered that Nasir loved _him_ and an attraction to another would not have changed that. He had only thought of himself in relation to Nasir and acted in the way his fears, his vulnerabilities dictated. 

At the end of the day, Agron knew he wasn't worthy of Nasir. Nasir deserved so much more, so much _better_ than Agron who was an “angry young boy who could barely piss without spraying on everyone around him” if he was to believe Mira's words. 

He could only thank the gods for bringing him to Nasir and allowing him to return. And Nasir for being able to see past his many, _many_ faults and love him in spite of them. Agron would spend the rest of his days showing Nasir how much he meant to him and trying to be worthy of the man who held his heart. 

“What thought has captured mind so?” Nasir questioned as he moved to stand near Agron. 

“Just thanking the gods for allowing me to remain at your side,” Agron said quietly, turning to face him. 

Nasir chuckled. “You believe in the gods now?” 

“I'm beginning to,” Agron said softly and smiled at him.


End file.
